They fly. They ALL fly.

It's probably not news that I work at a veterinary hospital. It's probably also not news that at said veterinary hospital we see some very sick pets. Pets that are sick because of internal issues and pets that are sick because of external issues. The external issues are what concern me the most. A primary reason for me not going into human medicine is because I can catch everything people have that is contagious! Oh and people are gross. But it didn't really occur to me that I could catch several things from animals too! I mean, sure, they have intestinal parasites that we can get but I was always under the impression we'd have to actually ingest them before they'd set up shop in our GI tract. This was until I learned they fly. They ALL fly. Yes, you heard right. Roundworms, hookworms, ear mites and sarcoptes, especially sarcoptes, fly. They leap from host to host infecting as they go! This is common knowledge, or should be, and yet both doctors at my hospital insist on making slides brimming with sarcoptic mange and ear mites and tapeworms and hookworms! They then have the audacity to leave the slides casually strewn about the hospital with no regard for my health and well-being! Because of this, I'm most certain I have a case of sarcoptic mange, ear mites and each of the aforementioned intestinal parasites. And the blame rests solely on the shoulders of a one Dr. Powell and one Dr. Canida. (I'm thinking of word that rhymes with witches...)

I do, however, have a way to prove my hypothesis. If we were to tag the infected pets and parasites with some sort of radioactive isotope, turn off the lights and put on special parasite viewing goggles I know we'd see a sea of colors flying through the air! It might be kinda pretty but also terrifying. You'd see little colored squiggles representing the worms and medium-sized circles with giant eyes and antenna and angry faces w/ sharp fangs. That would be the sarcoptes lunging toward you ready to attach! It's scary, right?! Yeah, I know. The only way to protect yourself would be to wear an impenetrable suit of armor or something and carry around mineral oil to drown any that get on you. Good luck and Godspeed.